FUNNY JOKES!

Black Testicles..

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital,
wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still
heavily sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical
procedure A young student nurse appears to give him a
partial sponge bath.

Nurse', he mumbles, from behind the mask 'Are my
testicles black?'

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies 'I don't know,
Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.'
He struggles to ask again, 'Nurse, are my testicles
black?'

Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry
about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment
and sheepishly pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and
his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them
around.

Then, she takes a close look and says, 'There's
nothing wrong with them, Sir !!'

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, looks at her and
says very slowly,

'Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen
very, very closely......

' A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ?

A man walks out of a bar stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand.

A cop on the beat sees him and approaches.

"Can I help you fella?" asks the cop.

"Yessss, sssshombody shtol my car" the man replies.

The cop asks, "Okay, where was your car the last time you saw it?"

"It wash at the end uv thish key" the man says.

At this point, the cop looks down to see that the man's penis is hanging out of his trousers.

The cop asks the man, "Hey buddy, are you aware that you're exposing yourself?"

The man looks down woefully and moans, "Ohhhhhhh god....

......they got my girlfriend too!"